Specifically, the one about assuming my mother has anything resembling logic or reason.

She bought another white bulldog.

….

Yeah. You heard me.
Snowflake’s been gone less than a week, and… well, Pigeon demonstrates his amazing powers of seeing the future.

Gently mentioning “isn’t this a bit too soon?” sailed right over mother’s head. And then some, as her response is more like a kick in both the face and the pants: “I missed having a little female wandering around.”

I… um… wow.
I don’t know whether to be greatly offended at the confirmation that I really don’t matter anymore (and believe me, I really don’t need to feel any more alone and abandoned than I already do), or just disgusted at how completely unreasonable the whole situation is.

Mother was laughing off Octomom on the news. WTF. Does my mother not get that she’s the bulldog version of Nadya Suleman?

—

In other news, on Tuesday I slipped in the shower. My tankiness worked in my favor for the most part since it was more “roll” than “fall” but my upper left arm has a giant-ass bruise from having plowed into the trash can, and that’s pretty much kept me out of volunteer service for at least this week… hopefully it dies down by next week. Sore as hell. Ow.

You know… I’m not a fan of the Four Pups of the Apocalypse. But I’m having one of those “be careful what you wish for” moments…

…one of them has pneumonia. 50% survival rate. Since this is the favorite of the four (Snowflake, the Puppy Rider of… Death, ironically), mother is especially going to pull out all the stops to save her.

Um, yeah. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I thought of downsizing. Oof.

On a more selfish level… I don’t enjoy looking forward to the RAGING DRAMA QUEEN and thus being on the receiving end of puppy-kicking, regardless of what happens, because surely mother is going to find some way to take it out on me. Mew…

I’ll say it now, anyone who claims I don’t know the value of money can go jump in a lake.

So… PETS ARE EXPENSIVE. Well, I knew that going in, of course… and I think mother FORGOT that, since it seems my assuming all the vet and insurance expenses was really what enabled her to go expanding the pet population as much as she did.

The English puppies went in for their first screening/vaccine wave today. Also, this month’s bill for pet insurance hit. And then I had to enroll the English puppies on the pet insurance policy. Total for all of that stuff put together… nearly $530. Ow.

BUT, as I said earlier, I don’t let mother go free… she has to reimburse me too. And she also has to pay back all the vet fees incurred until the policy kicks in. (Ah, Wells Fargo customer-to-customer transfers. LOVE.) I’m getting $500 of today’s total bill back. The remaining 30 is for Kestine’s part of the insurance, which I eat because, well, he’s my cat, so while I certainly could be mean and make mother reimburse me for that too, it’d be just a TAD excessive to do it. :P

True, 500 is chump change compared to the $8k total that mother plunked on getting all four dogs, but still… while keeping my bank account from springing a gigantic leak is nice, I think it’s the satisfaction of telling mother “PAY UP, WOMAN” that’s the best part.

okay maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.

I’m SO evil. :P