Ayarane Project


by Yoshi on Aug.25, 2017 | ITP: , ,

(copypasta’d from Twitter with light editing, that is)
aka “Yoshi needs to scrounge 180 coins by 10/27”

I am once again in need of some monetary assistance. My host contract for the Ayarane Project server (this very website) is up for renewal at the end of October (the 27th, to be specific). It’s up for renewal every 3 years, which works out to a very reasonable deal @ $5 a month, paid up front for $180.

It was a reasonable amount to deal with at the time I purchased the hosting (late 2008) but disability and the sharply reduced income that comes with it makes renewing a LITTLE painful. I have and will continue doing what I can to save up to pay for it, but since I lose 80% of my monthly SSI payments to household bills and much of the leftover is eaten up by my personal expenses (Tracfone and MMO subs) I don’t have much wiggle room.

I’ve had the domain+server since 2001 and I would really, REALLY hate to lose everything I’ve accomplished on my website over the years, even though I see more use of Twitter/Facebook these days. Please indulge this derplord’s wish to preserve a huge chunk of my online identity.

Commissions are the usual go-to but I realize that at $50 it’s not the most affordable, so I’ve made a Ko-fi account as a more accessable option. I also plan to do some kind of streaming to hopefully solicit additional donations! Please vote in this Strawpoll for what you would like to see me stream. I’ll PROBABLY pick the top two, though I reserve the right to substitute at my discretion if things glitch out.

(To preemptively address a recurring question: Patreon is NOT an option as is anything that requires filling out a 1040 form, since it is considered “recurring income” and would surely attract unwanted attention from Social Security. Single-instance things like commissions, Ko-fi and direct paypal transfers are “grey area” and unlikely to get my SSI benefits torpedoed.)

If you’re not able to donate, no worries– you can still help by sharing this post/future stream notifications and referring your friends who are in search of a commission artist.


(Instant Ramen) Siblings in War

by Yoshi on Jun.02, 2017 | ITP: , , , ,

Double art post! There was a little over a month’s gap between them but here’s some art of my and Robert’s WoW mains.

Also here’s some process videos:

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I am that asshole: Don’t undermine your message with bad optics

by Yoshi on May.17, 2017 | ITP: ,

This video has been getting passed around and I’m of mixed opinions on it as a whole.

Well, the literal message in there I don’t disagree with, though as someone who was emotionally abused, I am wary of the use of “tough love” as the only way it works is if you aren’t lashing out from a place of anger or domination, and sadly a lot of people aren’t quite capable of that and they have to request services as betterhelp for advice. Bonus points if the parent has a poor grasp of what depression and anxiety does to a child’s behavior, just like my mother, in these cases hearing about Kratom news and information is very essential.

It’s just… the presentation and optics of it bother me. I get it, they want to be funny by portraying the “stressed mom drinking wine and eating ice cream” but once you get past that and start reading between the lines of this narrative (intentional or not) you see that, no, the mother is actually VERY bothered by her kids resenting her because she was strict. Her body language and constant reiteration of how she doesn’t care that her kids are mad gives away that she’s quite thin-skinned about it. The wine and ice cream part could be taken as her needing to self-soothe with food and alcohol (and that last comment about how ice cream is on sale suggests this is a thing that happens on a regular basis), and she’s being quite flippant about it, too. I’m not sure I could take seriously someone like that. I would probably recommend therapy.

Of course, if you are a derp and go into the comments section like I do (with full knowledge that it’s going to be a trainwreck), you’ll see that it’s mostly people siding with the OP, and shouting down anyone who points out the detail about the wine and ice cream. “It’s just a joke, it’s supposed to be funny” is a common response from people who are in denial about how problematic their message is.

Don’t undermine your message with bad optics. Especially if it’s in a parenting video.

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I Am That Asshole: Wallowing in Memes edition

by Yoshi on Apr.04, 2017 | ITP: , ,

Guess what, you guys? It’s time for another unpopular opinion! Hooray!

Once again this relates to memes on the Facebooks. There is a type of meme that aggravates me, even as someone who can relate, because it encourages a kind of behavior that is just… severely counterproductive. Allow me to present an example of what I speak of:


Uhm… sure…

I’ll admit that, yes, I get it. I am very much the same way. BUT, I feel like these memes, and the accounts that pass them around, and the people who share them, are feeding into a mindset that “it’s okay to not do something to improve my situation, even a little, because other people understand me.” I know the intent behind the accounts is to give people a place to commiserate and share experiences, but there’s a point where it just enables wallowing.

And the people I often see sharing these memes are, sadly, the sort who could SERIOUSLY benefit from therapy and often have the means to actually get said therapy, if their friends didn’t simply coddle them rather than give them the needed kick in the butt to make an appointment. But, nope, they go on posting these “I am socially awkward, please don’t drag me out of my safe space and force me to grow as a person” memes or vague and self-pitying one-liners and… I’m sorry, but I just have to eyeroll. I’ve seen too much of this and have invested too much bandwidth into others who shitposted like this, and my heart has hardened as a result.

When you post these memes, I think “Congratulations! You’ve acknowledged you have a problem. Now do something about it!” Is it callous and mean-sounding? Yes. I know I would shrink away if someone said this to me. And I have, because I’ve had similar things said to me, and those people were right.

The thing is that depression and anxiety are lying bros, and humans are prone to taking the path of most comfort and least resistance. It’s easier to wallow and dwell on how bad things are, and to want people to cater to you, even if it hurts you in the long run. Depression and anxiety, those douchebros, want to sell you the lie that it’s pointless to do something to extricate yourself from the gloom and that people will judge you anyway, so… learned helplessness!

Wallowing in your feebleness is yucky and unattractive. People talk of the importance of “self-care.” Posting memes about how socially awkward you are, and suggesting that it’s a thing that should be left alone rather than improved upon is not self-care. Working to improve your confidence and self-respect to not be so beholden to intrusive thoughts, THAT is self-care.

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Shire Custodian Armor of Tedium

by Yoshi on Mar.04, 2017 | ITP: , , , ,


What sorts of shenanigans have I been getting into? That.

New tank armor means new Hikaru drawing and boy was this a doozy. FFXIV has some beautiful gear, especially for tanks, but ow they are often a huge pain to draw. I will never rag on WoW over having ridiculously ornate gear again, lol.

I originally intended to do this in Painter to try out the 2017 version but my monitor’s color settings, while fine for everything else, isn’t too conducive to painting. Thus I threw back to my iPad and finished in Procreate. The video thus begins after the line art stage:

I’m not giving up on Painter though. Going to look into getting Duet Display so I can pretend to be a Cintiq.

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