Ayarane Project


I Am That Asshole: Wallowing in Memes edition

by Yoshi on Apr.04, 2017 | ITP: , ,

Guess what, you guys? It’s time for another unpopular opinion! Hooray!

Once again this relates to memes on the Facebooks. There is a type of meme that aggravates me, even as someone who can relate, because it encourages a kind of behavior that is just… severely counterproductive. Allow me to present an example of what I speak of:


Uhm… sure…

I’ll admit that, yes, I get it. I am very much the same way. BUT, I feel like these memes, and the accounts that pass them around, and the people who share them, are feeding into a mindset that “it’s okay to not do something to improve my situation, even a little, because other people understand me.” I know the intent behind the accounts is to give people a place to commiserate and share experiences, but there’s a point where it just enables wallowing.

And the people I often see sharing these memes are, sadly, the sort who could SERIOUSLY benefit from therapy and often have the means to actually get said therapy, if their friends didn’t simply coddle them rather than give them the needed kick in the butt to make an appointment. But, nope, they go on posting these “I am socially awkward, please don’t drag me out of my safe space and force me to grow as a person” memes or vague and self-pitying one-liners and… I’m sorry, but I just have to eyeroll. I’ve seen too much of this and have invested too much bandwidth into others who shitposted like this, and my heart has hardened as a result.

When you post these memes, I think “Congratulations! You’ve acknowledged you have a problem. Now do something about it!” Is it callous and mean-sounding? Yes. I know I would shrink away if someone said this to me. And I have, because I’ve had similar things said to me, and those people were right.

The thing is that depression and anxiety are lying bros, and humans are prone to taking the path of most comfort and least resistance. It’s easier to wallow and dwell on how bad things are, and to want people to cater to you, even if it hurts you in the long run. Depression and anxiety, those douchebros, want to sell you the lie that it’s pointless to do something to extricate yourself from the gloom and that people will judge you anyway, so… learned helplessness!

Wallowing in your feebleness is yucky and unattractive. People talk of the importance of “self-care.” Posting memes about how socially awkward you are, and suggesting that it’s a thing that should be left alone rather than improved upon is not self-care. Working to improve your confidence and self-respect to not be so beholden to intrusive thoughts, THAT is self-care.

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Shire Custodian Armor of Tedium

by Yoshi on Mar.04, 2017 | ITP: , , , ,


What sorts of shenanigans have I been getting into? That.

New tank armor means new Hikaru drawing and boy was this a doozy. FFXIV has some beautiful gear, especially for tanks, but ow they are often a huge pain to draw. I will never rag on WoW over having ridiculously ornate gear again, lol.

I originally intended to do this in Painter to try out the 2017 version but my monitor’s color settings, while fine for everything else, isn’t too conducive to painting. Thus I threw back to my iPad and finished in Procreate. The video thus begins after the line art stage:

I’m not giving up on Painter though. Going to look into getting Duet Display so I can pretend to be a Cintiq.

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Procreate bows to ME now

by Yoshi on Aug.02, 2016 | ITP: , , , , , ,


A recent patch in Procreate (one of the major drawing apps on the iPad) fixed one of, if not my biggest gripe with the app– the eyedrop tool was too fickle in how it triggered. Now it’s mapped to a separate button that triggers when held down. YES. This thing was the biggest dealbreaker for a long time, and I can’t believe that it being fixed was what finally made the app not only usable, but pretty freaking awesome for me.

As you can tell, art happened!

I had attempted to do “native” (as in, done 100% in Procreate) pieces in the past but would hit a fatal roadblock, specifically in regards to coloring, because I am heavily dependent on eyedrop sampling for when I blend. It always ended with me having to export to Blastoise to finish in Painter (which presented an annoying, but not fatal issue, in that he would “break” my colors because he deemed the iPad color palette inferior and I’d have to go through all the color layers and tweak them to get them back to where they should be. It’s NOT an issue with my monitor, the colors are changed enough for me to know it’s not my monitor being improperly calibrated).

Exporting to Blastoise is okay, and expected for super-high-detail work where I specifically want to take advantage of Painter’s brushes, but I want to be able to do more casual material 100% on the iPad. For one thing, with my iPad I can do this from bed, which is much more comfortable than a crappy sinking office chair. Also, I am not super-confined to having my canvas oriented in one direction, I can spin it non-destructively so I can better work specific places.

I’ve gotten pretty used to the way Procreate handles and I’m really happy with the two things I’ve made so far (Hikaru’s FFXIV incarnation and Numair with Dragonite & Dratini), and they didn’t take me very long to do, so THEORETICALLY this should facilitate a lot more casual art posts.

Also, another awesome part about Procreate? Native support for video exporting! It basically does all the work for me in terms of generating a process/speedpaint video (shows the completed image first, then fades to the start of a timelapse) that I can instantly plop on YouTube! How it manages to track everything I do without lagging me horribly, I don’t know because capturing this shit on Blastoise isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world (I have to basically redo my OBS settings every time to make sure everything gets included) but having this available on the iPad is pretty freaking sweet, and I’m definitely going to export video for all the casual art I do going forward.

In fact, here’s the capture of the above-two pieces:

I COULD throw them into iMovie and drop music in, but I’m just too lazy for that nonsense.

The one feature I want to see in Procreate is better support for importing PSD files. You can KINDA do it now, but it’s super-clunky and only a handful of dimensions are supported, making it useless to me. I want better PSD importing so I can truly pingpong between Blastoise and my iPad, because right now it’s kind of a one-way thing.

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House Dragonia

by Yoshi on Jun.07, 2016 | ITP:

House Dragonia. Blue, of course.

So officially I’m a homeowner.

Oh hi there, patch 3.3 in FFXIV. Logged in around 4:30 this morning to scope it out and my Free Company boss-lady asks me how much money I have. Before I start thinking she wants monies to get a bigger guild house (because a mess of new housing plots were added), it turns out it’s the other way around: she’s giving me money so I can get my own house, as a loyalty reward and also for my care and feeding of everyone’s chocobos.

I wasn’t planning on trying to get my own house, as I already had a room in the guild house, but if she’s offering… :P (Also, Tarrika isn’t exactly someone who takes no for an answer.)

True, it’s a small house (a Cottage, if you must use the proper term) and it’s the same size as our guild house, but… it’s my house. Theoretically I could share with 3 other people; most likely one of them will be Bonnie if she actually cared about housing.

Obviously, uh, I had to dye (paint?) my house dark blue, and I made the bushy fencing and got an Aetherlyte so I can teleport back here, except there isn’t much else here (retainer bell, etc.) yet because I’m totally cleaned out of money. :P Tarrika’s going to be making a bunch of furniture on demand later today, I’ll see if I can get a Riviera canopy bed so I can replicate my bedroom from the FC house on a slightly bigger scale. Most likely I’ll keep Dodo stabled at the guild house to make it easier to mass-feed the chocobos.

If you’re on Faerie server, my house is in the Lavender Beds, Ward 31, #56.

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Toilet Humor

by Yoshi on May.13, 2016 | ITP: ,

In which I blather about dumb shit going around Facebook, right?

Today’s topic: the drama about proposed “bathroom laws” and why it’s a thinly-veiled excuse to punish transgendered people (also, you don’t REALLY care about women being raped)

It’s, like… why is transgendered folks using the bathroom a problem now? They’ve been doing it for years and not much, if any fuss, has been made over it. Only now is it becoming a capital-I issue and, as you can expect, a lot of the naysayers are throwing caution to the wind and letting their hateful flags fly.

The main argument against letting trans people continue as they were is that it would supposedly “let men put on a wig and dress and attack women in the bathroom.” Hi, this happens already. A law or rule enforcing “each gender to their own bathroom” will not put up a forcefield around the doors, scanning everyone to verify their gender. Someone determined to sexually assault another person is going to follow them into the bathroom, rules and laws be damned, full stop.

How would you even enforce such a law, anyway? Hire someone to stand at the door for the sole purpose of verifying one’s gender? For one thing, that would cost money, which of course no site owner will want to eat, so they’ll either bake it into their prices (if a store/restaurant), cut wages, eliminate services, or directly charge for access. Yeah, that’s going to go over well. And, of course, any backlash will cause people to point their fingers (wrongly) at trans people, as if they needed any more reason to inflict scorn and (likely) violence.

Also, people forget that same-gender assault is VERY much a thing. Women attack each other in the bathroom, men attack each other in the bathroom. Pedophiles, who statistically gravitate towards younger boys, attack their victims in the bathroom.

The secondary argument is just outright discomfort and/or transphobia. This one I am marginally less critical of, because at least there’s some shred of honesty (and I have relatively more respect for someone who is honest about their bigotry as opposed to someone who would hide behind religion and other platitudes), but there are a mess of counters for it. You have most likely used the same bathroom as a transgendered person at one point, without realizing it. How many people actually make eye contact with another person in the bathroom, anyway? Most of us just want to get in and out of there as quickly as possible, we don’t really have time to be looking over someone to see if they’re the “correct” gender. Someone who might be trans but doesn’t COMPLETELY pass, well, I might do a brief, quiet double take (because human curiosity) but otherwise go about my business.

A transgendered person is no different from us, they want to get their business over with and be on their way. Why should we make it harder for them, unless it is just a latent desire to punish them? If the naysayers have their way, the end result will backfire SO HARD, because you really would have, oh, a pre-transitioned man in the women’s bathroom. The awkward facepalm is so real.

“Oh, but loopholes! Someone could put on a wig and–” Well, they do that now. Report creepers to security. Carry pepper spray. Learn self-defense! There are existing laws against this behavior! We don’t need to police transgendered folks over a hypothetical (and a statistically-rare, almost impossible) situation that happens more often with straight folks and those of the same gender.

I feel like the sudden concern about women and girls’ safety in the bathroom comes off as disingenuous and even hypocritical. We sadly have a terrible track record when it comes to prevention, investigation and prosecution of sexual assault (as well as support for victims). People (men, really) playing the “safety of women” card don’t really care about stopping the assault on women in the bathroom, because they aren’t willing to go the full distance to actually correct the problem. If you want to really stop women from being raped in the bathroom, you don’t put into place laws against transgendered people, you do things like, oh, teach men to NOT RAPE, for starters. You would take victims seriously, you would actually put funding and effort into investigating and prosecuting those who commit such crimes.

Finally, there are other reasons why unisex bathrooms should be a thing (on top of not bellyaching over transgendered people): single fathers with young or infant daughters, parents of disabled children, people with elderly disabled parents, to name some. Are we going to screw them over some bigotry? I hope not.

You know who IS willing to screw unrelated portions of the population over their bigotry, though: the Lt. Governor of Texas, who is so bent on digging in his heels over this nonsense that he’s going to defy the recent presidential directive to quit interfering with transgendered people’s access to the bathroom. That’s right, he’s so dedicated to his hate that he would sacrifice federal funding for schools to feed it. A lot of that money goes to the free/reduced lunch program there, so he is effectively going to make a lot of children go hungry. He claims that the state will find replacement funds, but we all know that schools are among the first things on the budgetary chopping block, so they’re most likely¬† going to have to go without. What the actual fuck, Texas? Of course, this will also lead to blame unfairly being dumped on transgendered kids for ruining it for everyone, right?

It’s just a freaking bathroom. Let people pee!

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