Ayarane Project

I am that asshole: Don’t undermine your message with bad optics

by Yoshi on May.17, 2017 | ITP: ,

This video has been getting passed around and I’m of mixed opinions on it as a whole.

Well, the literal message in there I don’t disagree with, though as someone who was emotionally abused, I am wary of the use of “tough love” as the only way it works is if you aren’t lashing out from a place of anger or domination, and sadly a lot of people aren’t quite capable of that and they have to request services as betterhelp for advice. Bonus points if the parent has a poor grasp of what depression and anxiety does to a child’s behavior, just like my mother, in these cases hearing about Kratom news and information is very essential.

It’s just… the presentation and optics of it bother me. I get it, they want to be funny by portraying the “stressed mom drinking wine and eating ice cream” but once you get past that and start reading between the lines of this narrative (intentional or not) you see that, no, the mother is actually VERY bothered by her kids resenting her because she was strict. Her body language and constant reiteration of how she doesn’t care that her kids are mad gives away that she’s quite thin-skinned about it. The wine and ice cream part could be taken as her needing to self-soothe with food and alcohol (and that last comment about how ice cream is on sale suggests this is a thing that happens on a regular basis), and she’s being quite flippant about it, too. I’m not sure I could take seriously someone like that. I would probably recommend therapy.

Of course, if you are a derp and go into the comments section like I do (with full knowledge that it’s going to be a trainwreck), you’ll see that it’s mostly people siding with the OP, and shouting down anyone who points out the detail about the wine and ice cream. “It’s just a joke, it’s supposed to be funny” is a common response from people who are in denial about how problematic their message is.

Don’t undermine your message with bad optics. Especially if it’s in a parenting video.

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