Trolly Trolly McTrollington Van Troll

I’ve been on these interwebs a long time, so you’d think I’d be used to nonsense like trolling and dumbassery by now, and lower my expectations of humanity accordingly. But late at night I also tend to overthink things… thus, this post.

Please indulge me, internet and gaming culture, as I have some questions. I’m not trolling, I really do want to know the appeal behind these things.

1. Why do you veer in favor of sexual/bodily function humor? See: games in which you get to name your character, and have public channels, and then OMFG OUTRAGE because there are measures in place to stop you from naming your character “Dong.” I hate censorship as much as the next guy, but… really? Are we all perpetually 12 years old? We are better than that. At least, I want to think we are. It’s not even that funny.

2. Why do you hate women? I was almost going to rephrase “women who do not fit conventional standards of attractiveness,” but it seems this part of the world just has this overwhelming hatred of women as a whole. And it doesn’t stop there… I thankfully don’t see it much if at all in City of Heroes, but in WoW it’s hip to claim that we don’t exist, and if we do we’re all fat and ugly and deserve to be harassed and violated and all sorts of other things OH BUT WE STILL LOVE YOUR BOOBIES. I almost feel sorry for these trolls, clearly the people in their lives never taught them to respect their female peers.

3. Why do you hate homosexuals, then co-opt homosexuality for trolling? This is especially common in WoW. I see all this hate speech about them flying, and then there are some who commandeer gay stereotypes to troll and be generally obnoxious and hateful, and that’s even worse. It’s as if these people don’t even want to put forth the effort to be civil.

4. Seriously, did you sleep through civics/history class… or school as a whole? (Particularly pertinent to Americans.) Ignoring specific political opinions, I’m disturbed at how many people do not really have any understanding of the technical details of how our government works. More than that, I’m just… sad at how much blatant, willful ignorance is thrown about, and that we think being stupid is actually something to be celebrated! If you can be bothered to look up PVP builds or boss strategies, what is stopping you from truly educating yourself about the world?

There are others but now that I think about it, they’re more or less variations of the above four.

I know, I know, “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any less discouraging. As much as we fling around the non-solution “just ignore them,” you really can’t. It’s everywhere. You’re drenched in it all the time. You grit your teeth and try to endure, but you can only take so much before it starts to wear on you… and there’s really no escape.

Rarely, there are reminders that there are still good people out there. Their rarity makes it all the sweeter, but still depressing that people behaving civilly towards each other is not the norm.

…Sleep now.


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