Permit me to commit a bit of grand theft Keith Olbermann here, because my mother once again demonstrates her lack of common sense and thus takes all 3 slots for Ayarane Project’s Worst Persons.
She went with Evil Stepfather to process taxes and such…. okay… and now I get a call telling me that she’s buying Evil Stepfather a laptop so he can listen to his ball games through the MLB website.
Um…
…we have XM radio. And they have lots of sports channels and while I barely know what a leg compression machine is, I know enough that the particular teams Evil Stepfather follows are covered by these channels. We actually, you know, have a couple extra XM units, perfectly portable… they have these things called headphone jacks, and Evil Stepfather could just plug in some headphones and go to his baseball happy place.
Failing that, if he MUST go through MLB’s streaming service… we also have two computers that I built that are hardly being used. Sure, Evil Stepfather may have had half his right foot lopped off, but he can walk just fine. Is it that much trouble to walk over to one of the unused computers? (And he’s far more computer-literate than he claims, he knows enough to get around the Netflix website, and back when he was actually working he would send emails and such through the post office intranet.)
Seriously… WHY does this man need a laptop? I mean, if we didn’t have any of the above I suppose it would make sense to give him one, but this is quite absurd. Aside from sports radio and netflix, the man is not really interested in computers. Hell, most of his waking hours is just vegging out in front of the TV (because in his mind, retirement entitles him to sit on his ass all day and be a jerk– it’s easier to pull teeth or get Neo to play a non-Kit character than it is to get Evil Stepfather to, um, get up and actually interact with any of these $2000 bulldogs).
Oh, and for even more lulz, mother is trying to weasel her way out of slapping an extended warranty on it. Now THAT is really boneheaded. If Evil Stepfather’s going to be using this in the main den while the dogs are out and about, he can count on them slobbering all over the laptop or chewing on the cables or even knocking it off his lap when they jump up on him (despite his half-assed attempts to discipline them).
When I tried to confront mother on her lack of forethought into any of this, she suddenly claimed bad signal quality and hung up on me. Apparently she’s not interested in common sense and sanity anymore. (This on top of, you know, killing all our premium channels to save money yet coming home a few hours later with dog costumes that were never used, or trying to get me to eat massive cancellation penalties to kill off pet insurance before the contract is up so she won’t have to pay me $200 a month.) Oh, and I’m expected to do the initial configuration on this machine, so I’ll probably have to drop library service today because I just know she’s going to throw a hissyfit if I make her wait until after.
Yoshi’s mother: today’s worst person in the world.
Tags: argh, parental misanthropy, wtf