Ayarane Project

This is not a post

by Yoshi on May.28, 2009 | ITP:

I need to do something… this “living in a vacuum” nonsense is getting to me.
If I wasn’t already painfully aware of my irrelevance to the universe… I don’t know. It’s getting to the point where I fear I’m offending people with my very existence, so isolated and uncultured and such. I could watch nothing but news channels all day (in fact, I DO), but I still feel ignorant.

“LOL BULLDOGS” is a legitimate reason to have not been able to do much of anything, but it’s not the only one. Probably the ass-backwardness of dealing with the DMV (such as being penalized for what I thought was following the rules) dropped a gigantic nuke on my confidence, and I’m such a timid, incompetent tool if it’s taken me this long to even BEGIN to regenerate…

I can’t instantly grow a backbone. (with apologies to [info]fanafox and others who share her sentiment on the matter) I don’t care how much others think I’m “talented” or such nonsense, it does not enable me to just will myself out of this… lacking of any kind of confidence, not after years of being told how much I’m a good-for-nothing and how I’m so unappealing that nobody will ever want to associate with me.
I can, however, jumpstart it… I think…
…but I can’t pinpoint how, or where to begin.
I wonder if I need to fall back on something…? Something that I was pressured into casting aside or just indulging in secret because others pointed or complained, or declared me a bad person over it…

Buh. Perhaps I should sleep.

No comments for this entry yet...

Comments are closed.

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

The Magic Coin Block!

Like the sass and awesome and artwork and other happy things you see on Ayarane Project? Consider tossing a few coins into Yoshi's Magic Coin Block and contribute to the cool. Even better: if you put in 20 coins, you get credit towards a Gourmet Ramen piece! This is cumulative-- you can donate smaller amounts in different instances but have it add up-- and scales to the same parameters as Gourmet Ramen commissions.

Of course, if you want to just buy a Gourmet Ramen commission outright, that's fine too! :)

Xfire Status