Posts Tagged ‘parental stupidity’

Because sometimes toaster ovens aren’t the right appliance

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Next time I crash [info]brendala‘s house, I’m buying a freaking microwave.

This being continually locked out from the kitchen on account of LOL BULLDOGS (and jerk-ass stepfather) and the master bedroom (which has the only other microwave) being converted into a kitten nursery* and thus also on continual lockdown is really getting to me. Despite what mother claims, I don’t have mini-appliances to enable pigging-out, they are a backup measure for those all-too-frequent instances in which other means of getting any kind of food is blocked off for absurd lengths of time.


Pardon my crankiness, no munchies for nearly 24 hours makes Yoshi something-something. All my frozen dinners can’t be heated in my toaster oven without the plastic trays melting… and… yeah. I’ma go watch old Twitter Tracker segments now.

* Not breeding cats if that’s what you’re thinking. All the cats are fixed… it’s just that mother is all freaked out that she thinks that if she lets the two newcomers have full run of the house, either they’ll get sumo-tackled by LOL BULLDOGS (even though all the cats can very easily outrun said bulldogs) or that the incumbents will be mean to them. Boo freaking hoo, hissing is NOT the end of the world.

Less Stupid, but Still Stupid

Friday, August 14th, 2009

LOL BULLDOGS: Mother NOW realizes the error in her ways. Partially. Putting aside that bulldog anatomy is so screwed up that Wilson can’t put it in (but he can certainly go through the motions!), mother is freaked out by the shenanigans of dogs in heat that as soon as BabyGirl (ugh, still don’t care for such a pretentious name) comes off her doggy period, she’s getting spayed.

…well, yay for that, but what about Wilson? Sadly I think my explanation of the risks of letting him stay as is became another “in one ear, out the other” thing. Wilson is actually the greater of two evils in this case. Unfixed males can learn to be quite destructive in their horniness, not to mention that the longer Wilson goes on this way, the more likely said behavior will stick even after he gets neutered. Yet mother seems to think spaying BabyGirl will make Wilson not be horny anymore. “IDK LOL” right?

Once more, facepalm, apply directly to the forehead.

Suddenly, Fourth Kitty: Parental stupidity does not end there! I’m brought in to meet the newbie… only for mother to freak out because she can’t find said newbie. After turning the master bedroom upside down, turns out the newbie managed to squeeze underneath one of the endtables with really short (and I mean REALLY short) legs and got stuck.

I suggested stuffing ’em with pillows to block them off (else newbie could get stuck in there again), once more mother fails to grasp the logic. She’s also miffed about Chloe hissing at the fourth ktty. Dur hur hur. “She was playful at the shelter!” my foot, changing environments is akin to hitting the reset button on a computer. Did you seriously think they would instantly start playing? The only known exceptions to the standard rules of Kitty Integration is if you adopt siblings from the same litter, or if you adopt mother and baby together (and even THOSE have exceptions).

Mother was all “I know, I’ll buy more toys” and such. No. Stop. Please, I can’t take anymore of this failing to think and make sense. I told her (tactfully, of course, though it was becoming clear that I was losing patience with her tendency to laugh off her stupidity) that it probably isn’t a good idea and that we have LOTS of cat toys and things as is, so much that she’s tripping over them, and she snaps at me for “being negative” and “second-guessing her intentions.”

She’s still whining about not being able to sleep, so I leave so she can nap… and started writing this post, and 10 minutes later she emerges from the master bedroom all “buh I still can’t sleep.”

*insert Charlie Brown-brand “AUGH” here*

I WISH I could just throw up my hands and walk away, I really do.
But, oh no, I’m accused of “sticking my head in the sand” and “being too serious.” When mother and Evil Stepfather go through the day being all “idk lol” about everything, it would be dangerous if I became anything like that (putting aside that it would be completely against my nature). Someone here has to keep a brain… even though my opinion doesn’t count for crap. After all, I am very rarely, if ever, given advanced notice or warning about ANYTHING and if I take the initiative, I’m shouted down for being nosy.
I could bang my head on the wall but that would set off the dogs and I’d get yelled at for that.

….ffff, Evil Stepfather’s camping the living room. I’m SO going to get the glare of death when the pizza guy gets here, because the sight of me offends Evil Stepfather’s sensibilities. Mother, why did you buy this man an MLB subscription for the Roku box when he has a sub for on the laptop he never uses, and when you know that this is just inviting him to be more of a jerk when I come crossing through common areas?

…ohgod, PLEASE don’t let the bulldogs loose in there. This house screws over the human residents as is by making it a chore to navigate (in the name of puppy-proofing), it doesn’t need to get worse.

Rampant, RAMPANT stupidity! *throws stack of papers in air*

The Importance of Not Thinking

Friday, August 14th, 2009

Mom? MOM. It’s nice you got Chloe someone to play with. But you did it for the wrong reasons and it’s going to come back and bite you, as does everything else you do without thinking.

Do you know why Chloe is meowing at you and hanging around near the door and nibbling on you at night? She’s tired of being cooped up in that room all the time. Considering that you go to bed at 5 and don’t get up until, what, 5 or even 6pm (which in itself screws up a lot of other things but that’s another detail altogether), yeah. Of course she’s going to start pestering you.

Getting a fourth kitty is a bandaid fix. You know what’s going to happen… they’ll play with each other, alright, but then they’ll BOTH come after you. Or if not after you, they’ll be like Kestine and Daisy and ninja-fight on your bed. And who gets to listen to you whine and complain about “oh I can’t sleep the cats keep me up at night, I need sleep or my heart condition will get worse, waaaaah?” Yes, me, because I’m still the worst person in the world who can’t do anything right and I can’t get to the DMV because you need to sleep, Kelly is… I don’t know where the hell she is, and by the time Robert gets up, the DMV stops offering tests for the day, and now I’m even having to skip volunteer service shifts (fff, they must think I’m a flake) because you get up so late and no I can’t wake you because you AND Evil Stepfather will yell at me!

And don’t pull that “idk lol” with me when I try to address the issue tactfully (Robert wouldn’t hold back, but I can’t afford to trigger Drama Queen mode so my hands are tied), or change the topic to my dead floor fan.

Also I SERIOUSLY question the wisdom of waiting until Wilson and BabyGirl (sidenote: wtf kind of name is BabyGirl, anyway?) are 18 months to get them fixed. It slows their growth? The world is not going to end if it takes them longer to grow up. Look at the cats, they got fixed early on and they seem normal! Holding off on getting the dogs fixed is going to make things WAY worse in the long run since the destructive behavior associated with having intact parts is more likely to stick, and you with your nonexistent patience… you’ll get pissed off and instead of doing the right thing like going to more dog obedience classes or hiring a dog trainer to come over (because oh no, EVERYONE IS OUT TO REPORT YOU TO ANIMAL CONTROL), you’ll just throw your hands up and throw the dogs away like you threw Toby away…

*epic, EPIC facepalm, apply directly to the forehead*

This parental stupidity makes me very very sad. I miss father. At least he had a brain… and USED IT. (Mother called it “dragging his feet” because father actually bothered to consider things like consequences and such.)

What is so horrible about letting Chloe mingle with Kestine and Daisy, as would be normal progression? They don’t even hiss at her anymore, hell Kestine just flees. THIS IS NORMAL. Augh.

t [info]brendala, your parents are STILL normal compared to my mother. Can I still petition for honorary membership? I may be a naughty liberal and my computer-speak might sail over your head but… :(

This is a Nyer Alert, Part… 4?

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

I haven’t mentioned Chloe in awhile, so I should do that first.

We had a FIP scare (Feline Infectious Peritonitis, a potential and more importantly FATAL mutation from the common and more-annoying-than-dangerous Corona virus) and that along with Kestine and Daisy being all >:( at this new intrusion prompted mother to stick Chloe in isolation after the initial wellness screening last week…

…which, by the way, led to a 3-day hospital stay in relation to that FIP/Corona thing. In this case, mother’s tendency to go over my head because I’m “too slow” (read: I don’t instantly jump to conclusion nor do I hastily dump large amounts of money without thinking) works in my favor because there would have been no way I could safely eat the $800+ bill up front. Where, again, is she getting all this money? >_>;

Anyway, mother proceeded to dispense the FIP fear-mongering despite, you know, still buying MORE cat toys and such (call me horrible, but why do that if you were THAT convinced Chloe was going to die?). But now it seems it was just that low-level Corona virus after all, since the symptoms are clearing up and Chloe’s putting on weight and generally settling into her role of being the other Nosy Kitty. We’ll have official confirmation next week if this is indeed the case, but all signs point to Chloe kicking the bug and becoming Daisy’s peer in Nosy-Fu.

I’ve half a mind to rig a cat-sized version of a certain mushroom-looking hat and cape… “Kitty Fang Blast” much? :3
so help me, if this makes me go replay Tales of Legendia, I know who to blame.

But yes, Chloe is super-nosy! Possibly even more than Daisy. When I’m unpacking my frozen dinners to put in the microwave in the master bedroom (where Chloe is being held until we get official confirmation that it was just Corona), she’s either trying to squeeze inside the empty box or will sniff at the frozen contents or attempt to lick the dew drops off the cellophane. At the same time she’s also a “pet me naaaaao”-type attention-whore like Kestine; she purrs VERY easily and given the opportunity she WILL crawl on you and sit on your shoulder and face-shove on your hair. XD And she has this bizarre fixation on my glasses in that if I’m wearing them, she’ll sniff and even lick the lenses, but if I put them on the bed, Chloe will run behind a pillow and from there attempt to pounce said glasses.

Cat owners! Is this extreme nosiness a female cat thing? (just like how boy kitties tend to be mellow love machines, at least post-neutering?) Obviously there are exceptions, like [info]brendala‘s cat who spooks easily, or Gateway the psychic ninja cat, but still…