Hikaru Dragonia

On names, gender attachment and cultural norms

"Hikaru" ("to shine/sparkle") is a gender-neutral (but ofen male-coded) given name. In Endwalker postgame, Rei explains her reasoning behind choosing such a name: she did not know the gender of her then-unborn child, but was struggling to come up with suitable names. To spare herself the work of having to come up with separate male and female names, Rei shortlisted those that would be suitable for either. Her selection included those from both her cultural background (Far Eastern) and that of her husband (Ala Mhigan), but both she and Berold liked Hikaru.

It's often said that one grows into their name over time, and such applied to Hikaru, and in ways unexpected. While Rei may have had somewhat of a galaxy-brained moment in giving an appropriate name to someone who would eventually become the Warrior of Light, what she probably didn't predict how giving her child a neutral name would factor into Hikaru's eventual attitudes toward her gender as an adult.

While wandering Outer Gyr Abania alone, Hikaru discarded many of her feminine personality traits and adopted a less-gendered manner of dressing and presenting herself. Where she was painfully shy and anxious as a child, Hikaru's sudden change of circumstances forced her to harden quickly, as Gyr Abania is no place for the soft-hearted. To be a young woman traveling alone was especially risky, thus it was even more of an incentive to make herself less appealing to those who might do her harm because she was a woman. Even her voice deepened to a degree, taking on a more aggressive and stern tone. The one aspect of her femininity that Hikaru could not bring herself to leave behind was her long hair; she attempted a shorter hairstyle, but was so used to the weight of her hair on her back as a counterbalance that it proved to be immensely disorienting, and thus she chose to never cut it short again.

Though becoming the Warrior of Light afforded her a considerably more comfortable lifestyle and therefore less cause to be constantly vigilant for her safety, it did not mean Hikaru would revert to acting more feminine. If anything, it made her realize how little attachment she had to being perceived as a woman. At the same time, she did not view herself as being particularly manly, either; although she did prefer unisex or male clothes, it was more for utility reasons rather than gender expression.

Hikaru also lost much of her attachment to her Ala Mhigan background. Her experience with the Resistance through her mother turned her off to any further association with the movement, and as a byproduct, she distanced herself from Ala Mhigan and Highlander culture in general, focusing more on her own survival. In Stormblood, Lyse and other members of the Resistance are mildly dismayed at Hikaru's detached attitude hearing that she is only assisting them because of her obligations as the Warrior of Light.

Part of this disconnect can be seen with Hikaru's aversion to sex and exposing her body; where wearing revealing clothing and being sexually assertive is usually seen as a show of power among Highlanders in the Extended continuity, Hikaru would sooner put on the heaviest, bulkiest armor she could find. Even after overcoming her phobia in "Twice Attempted," Hikaru is still less inclined to wear clothes that show off her body, only doing so when alone with Numair. The thought of wearing a dress is completely alien and out of the question, however; even when as a healer, the furthest Hikaru is willing to go is a skirt with leggings. Even when Rei attempted to get Hikaru to try on traditional Ala Mhigan clothes, Hikaru instead reached for the male outfit, refusing to put on a bright red folk dress. In "Thirty One Stars," Hikaru wears a close-fitting black pantsuit, perhaps the most blatantly-feminine outfit she owns.

In the news media-- at least, the outlets that choose to respect her privacy-- Hikaru is rarely referred to by third-person pronouns, and much of her activities are attributed to the Scions or her party as a whole. She has never been interviewed, having appointed Alphinaud and Yoshi to handle such tasks in her place. There are few press pictures of Hikaru in circulation; those that do exist very rarely show her face, or depict her from behind or at a distance, and she is always seen in full armor. Combined with her gender-neutral name, it is not entirely implausible that a less-informed member of the public might presume the Warrior of Light is actually a man, a mistake that Hikaru is inclined to forgive since it is unlikely to be made with malicious intent.

In Endwalker Patch 6.55, Wuk Lamat admits that when Erenville described Hikaru to her, she initially thought Hikaru was a man (as Erenville seldom used she/her to refer to Hikaru, either directly using her name or "Warrior of Light"). In Dawntrail, during the detour to the Nazou Estate, Numair's mother Numina also presumed that Hikaru was a man based on her name, struggling to fathom the possibility that the Warrior of Light might actually be a woman. Numina additionally runs afoul by falsely claiming Hikaru is a "desperate Ala Mhigan harlot" who seduced her way into Clan Nazou's treasure caches, unaware of Hikaru's disconnection from her cultural origins.

On being a Paladin, what it means to be a hero, and connection

The Extended continuity discards nearly all of the canon FFXIV job stories, with Paladin being the biggest divergence.

Shortly before the events leading up to the Titan encounter, Hikaru is passed a letter from one of Nanamo's retainers, one instructing her to seek out Captain Jenlyns of the Sultansworn and to present the letter as an endorsement from the Sultana herself so that Hikaru may be trained as a free Paladin. As it would happen, the outgoing leader of the Sultansworn delighted at the chance to train the up-and-coming Warrior of Light as his final student.

But when Hikaru went to meet Solkzagyl at the cave the Roegadyn often meditated in, she found him lying dead in a pool of his own blood, the dagger still embedded in his neck. Curiously, Solkzagyl was still holding the Paladin soul crystal, and so Hikaru took it back with her to Ul'dah to report the murder. Jenlyns conferred with others in the Sultansworn leadership and relayed that, regrettably, Hikaru's promised training would be put on hold while Solkzagyl's murder was being investigated, but she would be allowed to keep the soul crystal as it was empty and thus had little value.

During the operation to rescue the kidnapped Scions in Castrum Centri, Hikaru was mistaken for a recently-conscripted quartermaster, and given a copy of the passcode for the armory. As this was supposed to be a stealth operation, Hikaru did not bring her sword and shield, believing they would give her away, and thus she would have to find a new weapon on-site. She happened upon Castrum Centri's Foreign Armaments Containment, where she would suddenly hear a female voice calling out to her through her mind. The disembodied voice assured her that she was not a ghost, and beckoned her to approach the containment pod that held a gold-accented sword and shield. Learning that the voice was coming from inside the shield, and that the shield was once the ancient Ivalician Holy Knight Agrias Oaks, Hikaru used her passcode to open the containment pod and took the sword and shield for herself. When touching them, Hikaru formed a spiritual connection with Agrias, one that relays Hikaru's vision and hearing, and in turn achieving greater control of Light.

In gratitude for being released from centuries of isolation, Agrias offered to instruct Hikaru in Ivalician Holy Swordplay, especially after hearing about what happened with Hikaru's interrupted free Paladin training. Agrias determined that the swordplay practiced by the Sultansworn and Ishgard's Temple Knights are modernized iterations of the swordplay used by Ivalice's knights, and that Hikaru would benefit from her mentorship. As Agrias works to recover her memories, she remembers more of her own training as a Holy Knight and relays it to Hikaru in the form of the replacement job quest chain "Brave Story."

Before the events of Operation Archon are set in motion, Hikaru's presence was requested in Ul'dah by the Sultansworn, who claim to have new information regarding Solkzagyl's murder. The meeting turned out to be a pretense for Nanamo to present Hikaru with a gift: a full suit of Gallant armor, normally issued to high-ranking Sultansworn. In explaining the reasoning, both Nanamo and Papashan said that even without being a proper Paladin, Hikaru's deeds embody the true spirit and intent of one nonetheless. Hikaru herself is doubtful, saying she is hardly Paladin material, especially compared to the likes of the Sultansworn and the Temple Knights. She also learned that the empty Paladin soul crystal she obtained (and had since turned into a necklace) was a prototype learning model, meant to take in newer styles of swordplay in addition to conveying the wisdom of past Paladins.

This presents a recurring question that is addressed numerous times during the Extended Main Scenario Quest and other side stories:

"What does it mean to be a hero?"

Hikaru acknowledges that, at the very minimum, her personality and mannerisms are especially unheroic. She is abrasive, snarky and foul-mouthed, and is up-front about how she considers her allies more along the lines of "extra bodies" rather than true companions. Even Agrias is put off at first by Hikaru's tendency to swear profusely during battle, commenting that not even the brigands she routed in her time were as vulgar. While Hikaru attempts to mask these facets of herself in her public interactions, it is a mask she loathes wearing, as she feels that being the amiable "smile and nod" heroic figure isn't reflective of her true self at all. It is a mask that she ultimately discards partway through Endwalker, finding the stress of maintaining it too much and deciding to behave more authentically, consequences be damned.

But as much as she has convinced herself that she isn't heroic, it does not mean she is a villain, either. Hikaru overlooks her own actions and how they were, in fact, those of a true hero in the greater picture. In combating the Primal threat and the Garlean Empire's activities, and dealing with a number of other looming crises, Hikaru did indeed labor for the betterment of Eorzea and the star as a whole. Even with her dispassion towards the liberation her homeland, she was at the forefront of the operation to free Ala Mhigo. And that is to say nothing of her greatest achievement as the Warrior of Light thus far: the prevention of the Final Days that would have otherwise seen the world consumed by Despair's song. While her persona does not immediately telegraph "hero," her actions definitely do.

In "Thirty One Stars," Hikaru is approached by a server at the Bismarck while she and Numair are finishing their meal. The server brings a small lava cake, saying that the restaurant owner is a fan and insisted that Hikaru have the cake as a birthday treat. When Numair takes notices of Hikaru's discomfort at the attention, he asks what is so unnerving about receiving praise and recognition. Hikaru's answer is telling of both her inability to perceive herself as being heroic, and also of her chronic self-deprecation:

"It was never about glory or fame. I was never in it to become a household name. I just wanted to ensure that everyone would live to see tomorrow. I am no hero. I'm just some woman with a fancy-ass sword. That's all there is to it."

Hikaru says all of that, completely ignoring the loyalty she inspired, especially among her closest allies, and even moreso, the man about to confess his love to her. If her tendency to downplay and discredit herself weren't immediately made obvious before, her response to Numair's confession a couple hours later makes it impossible to ignore. Her first instinct is to dissuade Numair, labeling herself as "broken" and "likely to disappoint," and insisting that she is nothing like the inspiring heroic figure that others believe her to be.

It is not until the end of Patch 6.5, when Hikaru has a near-death experience after encountering Zeromus, in which she is finally able to internalize the feelings of loyalty and appreciation shown to her over the years. In her subconscious "Garden of Memory," Hikaru is made to listen to numerous testimonies about the impact she's had as both the Warrior of Light and as a person, and for the first time she cannot bring herself to deny or refute such sentiments. Not only was she able to accept that she was a hero on the grander scale, but also that she was a hero to the people closest to her.