Yoshi Suggests: MIB3 (even if you missed the second one) + OMG FF4 FOR SMARTPHONES

So like a lazypants bonehead I missed Men in Black 3 when it was in theaters (and yet if you recall Amazon had a Blu-Ray firesale that just happened to include a bunch of Will Smith-centric movies). Fast forward to, um, now, and MiB3’s on the DVD and Blu-Rays and such, THUS. Yoink!

Short, short version: OMGWTFBBQSAUCE, watch this. Skipped MiB2? NOT A PROBLEM.

Before we go on: No, really, you only need to have seen the first movie because MiB2 really… didn’t have anything memorable enough except maybe something hinting at K being a pimp baby-daddy, but other than that… eh. It wasn’t so much that MiB2 was bad, but put another way, you could just mentally fill its slot in the movie canon with “oh, Agent K changed his mind a week later and came back, and they found $20”


MiB3 is win and awesomepants. I don’t know how they managed to do it given its major cast shakeup (no Zed and no Frank the Pug), but it took everything about MiB1 that worked and did it again and not be repetitive! You get some new catchphrase fodder, a throwback to Hancock and Independence Day, and a villain who is just as delightfully revolting as Edgar the Bug. Oh, and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT UP THE NOSE.

Agent O (Emma Thompson — BTW, minor “other Will Smith movie connection” via I am Legend, she was the doctor at the very beginning who claims to have cured cancer) is kind of a badass and manages to slide right into being the Zed replacement without being too out-of-place. And is it me, or does her hairstyle make her seem like a British-accented Hillary Clinton? :P

And then, of course, we get to the elephant in the room. Jeebus Flying Spaghetti Monster on a Neuralyzer. You would think that Josh Brolin as younger K would be a little bit jarring but this man has it. It’s one of those “oh here we go, he’s imitating another dude again*, oh wait, I can hardly tell” and you just… mentally seal up any cracks and holes and go on like normal. It just works. I approve of this!

* = again comes from W, in which he was President Bush and a pretty damn convincing one at that. Also you should watch that movie anyway even if you hated both Bushes because omg James Cromwell and he is never not awesome.

Stupid coincidence: earlier the day I saw this movie, mother bought chocolate milk. The movie uses chocolate milk as a cure for headaches brought on by fractures in time. HA HA HA. I drink some kind of chocolate on a regular basis (milk, shake or hot) so…. yeeeah, clearly I must be entangled in some kind of temporal shenanigans, right? XD This also leads into my favorite throwaway line, spoken by a neighbor kid when J takes his sippy cup and chugs the contents:

“Mommy, the president is drinking my chocolate milk! And he didn’t even say please…”

(whether or not it’s a thinly-veiled potshot at President Obama or just an innocent mistaking of identity, I don’t know nor care. I just thought it was gold. :D)

Really, the only Boo I could give this movie is that there’s no Noisy Cricket action, which in the long term is rather negligible and overridden by other awesome things. Also the whole “alien parasite in the hand” is a bit squicky but that’s just me.

The closing credits music is a bit of an earworm. You hear its original form during one of the diner scenes.

Watch this movie. At the very least it provides validation that, yes, Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber are indeed aliens.

Do you have an iOS-thingy? Do you like Final Fantasy 4? (Particularly, the DS version with its FF9-type proportioned character models and voice acting?) Guess what’s hitting the iTunes App Store on the 20th? :D? It’s coming with a difficulty setting (I’m assuming to add a hard mode, but nothing’s been said) and a minor graphical tuneup to smooth out the polygons. I was hoping Square would recall the VAs and fully voice this thing, but that was merely a pipe dream. :P

It was initially announced as being JAPAN ONRY but as it turns out everyone gets to play.

Android users will get FF4 as well, just later on. Hopefully Square will not botch this one as it has unfortunately done with their other Android ports (either incomplete, laden with unnecessary DRM or just plain unusable). I was going to put Chrono Trigger on my Galaxy Note 10.1 but held off after finding a giant pile of bad reviews– seriously, there are almost as many 1-star as there are 5-star reports in the Google Play store.

I don’t know which version I’ma grab… iPhone tends to be a bit more stable plus it comes out first, but if I hold out for the Android (again, presuming nothing goes wrong) it’ll be on a nice big (relative to the iPhone) screen and better sound quality.

Also here’s another thing that makes me all :| = Squaaaaare, if you’re going to port your stuff to iOS, why can’t you just take the extra half-step and officially issue a Mac port via its App Store? I mean, you have to test this stuff on a Mac anyway (seriously, to test iOS apps you actually use an emulator of an iPhone/iPad that even looks like the device). It’s practically free money for you! Even at “full” price and the gamer whining that comes with it, people would still buy that up.

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