What I’m doing instead of drawing

As a continuiation from yesterday’s Mario post that semi-derailed into speculation of a Ragnarok TWILIGHT parody of the whole damned thing, time for some MORE bad speculation as to what it would be like…

Hikaru would be the main character, of course. Logically it would make sense to pair her off with Deeum (that is, Deeum would fill the Luigi role, because Deeum is, functionally, Hikaru’s Star Dragon counterpart) but because everyone and their cat would assume otherwise, the Luigi role goes to Numair instead. The man DOES come with a built-in fire flower and can probably jump higher… AND he wears green! (Deeum would be better suited for Zelda parodies… mwahahaha)
Also, Haruko would be an unlockable.

Coins would, of course, become Zeny Coins.

Mushrooms? Screw that, we have Ygg Berries!
1-up Mushrooms, of course, would become Ygg Leaves. (Duh.)
And who needs Fire Flowers if you have Pyre Spheres? (totally ignoring my previous statment about Numair having inherent fire flower ability…)

Upgrades would be “chibified -> Ep. 1 initial gear -> Ep. 2 final gear”
There is, of course, the little problem of Hikaru lacking ranged powers outside of dragon form (which would be her version of Starman-granted invincibility). But then again, that’s why Pyre Spheres replace fire flowers!
I can’t think of what would replace Starman. I’d say a Twilight symbol but that would only work on Hikaru… oh wait, this is Grand Theft Everything after all. Star Spheres! Numair’s equivalent: a Gunslinger mecha. >:D

End of Level flags would become Save Spheres, and Warp Pipes are now gates into the Asgard Network’s flat stages (they are, more or less, a form of Warp Zones after all…)

Hell Legion Black Dragons would STILL make convincing Koopa Troopa standins. Hell, we got ’em in all colors. (even though Koopas didn’t come in more than 2 colors until SMW anyway) And in World 8, they would become Omega-series >:D
Much as I like Porings, they fit the Goomba mold all too well. (We DO hide behind the “miasma infection” card for enemy Porings in RT, though…)
Mandragoras for Pirahna Plants, of course.
Orc Warriors as Hammer Bros, hell yeah.
Black Dragons would also fill for Lakitu.
I’m inclined to say Prinnies as Bullet Bills, bahahaha.
…and I am totally drawing blanks for the other guys, halp @_@

Bosses? Oh boy…
Baphomet, Drake, Werewolf, Doppelganger (!), Eddga, Orc Lord, Astral Dragon and Omega Baphomet+Lord of Death (because I’m a jerk and would pair those two back to back :P)

I take back my previous comment about Yoshi wearing a ridiculous-looking padded Yoshi suit. She can be Peach! :P
In place of Toads, you get… the rest of the guild. (They got captured? No… they’re too busy boozing it up or otherwise slacking off to care.)

…so yeah. Oh, the things that one thinks of when they should be doing something slightly more productive. Oh well!


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